If We Wrote Glee
by tsay cresant
Summary: We all love Glee, but most fans  if not all  have at least one thing they'd want to change about at least one scene. This is a story dedicated to that! Interactive! Ch5: Santana's Wrath
1. Kliss

**Author's Note: Yay for interactive stories! Ok, so I've been writing a AVPM styled Glee Parody musical thing for some time now, but we aren't allowed to post scripts or anything, so I thought it'd be fun to take some of the things I changed and elaborate on them. But, here's the fun part! Leave in the reviews what you would have done if you wrote glee for a particular scene. IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE SERIOUS! This is all for fun! **

**For anyone concerned about my other stories, here's the low down. If not, please continue on to the actual story.**

**I Don't Even Know Why I'm Writing You: I had a chapter done, reread it and hated it, so I deleted it and started all over. **

**Misguided Ghosts: Having trouble writing a court scene. I will finish this, I promise!**

**Flaws: Only writing in that when I come up with a fun idea. Don't have one yet.**

**Enjoy : )**

**Kliss**

"What's that?" Blaine asked as he walked into the common room at Dalton Academy. Kurt was sitting at a small table, bedazzling what looked like a small box.

"I'm decorating Pavarotti's casket," Kurt said as he stuck more sequins to the small box.

"Well, finish up. I have a duet picked out for us and we should practice," Blaine said while he found a seat next to Kurt.

"Oh? Pray tell?" Kurt asked, looking up from his flamboyant box.

"It's a surprise," Blaine said, standing up and grabbing a boom box that he'd left in the room a few hours ago. "I was able to get the rest of the guys to record the back ups to it so we could practice now."

"Um, ok," Kurt said, putting down his bedazzler and standing up. "I still don't know what we're singing though."

"Actually, I was inspired by a video I found online of your old teacher, Mr. Shuester. He was in this really awesome acapella group, and well, this song is how I feel about you Kurt," Blaine said shyly. Kurt smiled, praying in his head that it wasn't something like "You've Got a Friend in Me" or "That's What Friends Are For" or heaven forbid "The Theme from Friends". Blaine clicked down the play button on his boom box.

"A tick tock you don't stop," kept repeating through the song, while a soloist acting somewhat obnoxious. Blaine nodded along with the song, getting into it before he started singing.

"Come inside. Take off your coat. I'll make you feel at home. Now let's pour a glass of wine cause now we're all alone," Blaine started, smiling up at Kurt every so often while the viewers at home jumped up from their couches and squealed. "I've been waiting all night so just let me hold you close to me. Cause I've been dying for you boy to make love to meeee."

Then, with the magical power of Glee, Kurt knew the words to his part of the solo and joined in. "Boy you make me feel real good. We can do it till we both wake up."

"Boy you know I'm hooked on you. And this is what I'll dooo," Blaine sang to Kurt, putting his hand on Kurt's lower back.

"Let me take off all your clothes," Kurt sang sexily (he read the sex pamphlets, so he knows sexy now) to Blaine, resting his hands on the shorter boy's shoulders. "Disconnect the phone so nobody knows. Let me light a candle so that we can make it better. Making love until we drown."

"Boy you know it feels real good. We can do it till we both wake up," Blaine sang, almost out of breath by the absolute hotness of this moment.

"Boy you know I'm hooked on you. And this is what I'll do," Kurt leaned in more, weaving his fingers through Blaine's curls.

"I wanna sex you up!" the two of them sang, ending the song and that note with their mouths being smashed together and them falling onto one of the nice leather sofas in the common room. The rest of this scene, you won't get to see, because of the lovely red cockblocking keyboard. : )

**Author 2: I know it's short, but the kliss was really short too :P leave reviews of what you'd want to see please! I hope you like the idea. : )**


	2. Blaine Vs Dave

**Author's Note: "**_**I really would like to see how a certain scene would have played out, had Santana not shown up. Would Blaine have gotten his ass kicked? Or would Karofsky keep the fight going? What would Kurt do? All of these are very valid questions. They could have been explored (and then turned into a cute scene in which Blaine has a black eye and Kurt is taking care of him *hint hint*)...I think you should do this one :) It could prove to be really funny...**_**"- crazytheatrekid14**

**This isn't exactly that, but more of my take on the idea. I tried to get the dialogue as true to the show as I could, but sometimes its hard to understand what they're saying when they talk so fast. I hope you like it! Leave reviews to what you'd like to see if you wrote glee!**

Blaine Vs. Dave

"And that was the Spanish class room. And of course you know the choir room," Kurt said, giving Blaine the grand tour of McKinley High School before the show.

"Hey you guys, you'd better get in the auditorium! The show's about to start," Brittany said quickly as she wheeled Artie by.

"It's gonna be a full house ya'll! Better hurry up if you want to get a good seat," Artie said as he went by.

"We'll be there in a minute! I'm just showing Blaine around," Kurt said happily to his friends and exgleemates.

"Thanks for coming and supporting us guys. It's really cool," Artie said sweetly to his friend and his friend's boyfriend. After a quick 'bye' from Brittany, the two members of New Directions hurried off to go get ready for their show. Kurt watched them longingly, wishing he was going to be performing with them.

"Aw, you miss them," Blaine said sweetly. Just as Kurt was about to say something, an unwelcomed character made his way into the scene.

"What the hell are you two doing here?" Karofsky asked angrily as he stormed into the happy moment.

"We're here for the benefit. Don't tell me you're going," Kurt said with an even tone, concealing his fear of the bully.

"I wouldn't be caught dead," Karofsky said hollowly. "I was pumping iron in the gym when one of the guys told me you two were here spreading your fairy dust all over the place." Blaine's face showed a mixture of shock and disgust towards the bully.

"Would you just give it up? You can live whatever lie you want, but don't pretend the three of us don't know what's really going on here," Blaine said, stepping closer to Karofsky.

"You don't know squat buttboy," Dave spat. Without even thinking, Blaine shoved Karofsky as hard as he could, causing Dave to push back and grab onto Blaine's jacket. Blaine elbowed him away with a quick twist of his upper body, and used that twist to bring his other arm around with a swift punch to Karofsky's face. Karofsky fell back a bit, met with the shock of a fist to the eye, but was then filled with complete rage and grabbed Blaine even harder, slamming him up against the locker.

"Guys! Stop it!" Kurt yelled, trying to grab Karofsky and pull him off Blaine. Karofsky just slammed Blaine again, but Blaine didn't even flinch. He instead used all the force he had to push Karofsky into the set of lockers on the other side of the hallway. Kurt backed out of the way and then hurried over to try and pull Blaine off Karofsky. "Blaine, it isn't worth it. Come on. Let's just go to the benefit."

"You'd listen to Princess over there if you knew what was best for you. Why don't you two hurry home do whatever perverted things gay guys do" Dave said venomously before spitting on Blaine. Getting even more pissed off, Blaine slammed Dave even harder. Dave countered that by pushing forward and pushing Blaine to the ground. No matter how strong Blaine was, Dave still had way more mass that Blaine did, and you couldn't argue with that.

Dave got a good punch to Blaine's jaw in before he was yanked off of the smaller boy and thrown onto the floor. Kurt started yelling absolute gibberish in his rage as he fell to the floor and started beating the living daylights out of Karofsky. It was like the little boy from A Christmas Story, only even crazier. Once Blaine got his wits about him, he pulled himself off the floor and grabbed Kurt by the shoulders.

"If you ever harass me or my boyfriend ever again, I can PROMISE you that you won't be able to walk when I'm through with you!" Kurt yelled while Blaine dragged him into the auditorium so they could see the show. "Because I'm a Hummel! And Dammit! No one pushes the Hummels around!"


	3. The Hummel Anderson Meeting Extravaganza

**Author's Note: I'm glad everyone enjoyed the last chapter! Please give me some more ideas, because I have a few more that I can steal from my script, but I'd love to see what you guys want to see. :D**

"_**I want to see, after they get together in Original Song, the two meet each others parents. They never seemed to get to Blaine's parents." Steffi Star**_

The Hummel/Anderson Meeting Disaster!

Blaine and Kurt had spent days discussing their parents meeting and it had been the actual cause of their first disagreement as a couple. Kurt wanted Blaine's parents to have dinner at his house, and Blaine wanted it the opposite. After bickering at each other about it, they both finally decided on taking them to Breadstix. Blaine wasn't crazy about the idea, but it was better than having dinner at Kurt's.

Don't be confused though. Blaine loves Kurt's family and the Hummel-Hudson house. It was his mom that he was worried about. She was, well, more oblivious than he is. She usually finds a way to insult everyone in her general proximity and doesn't even know she's doing it. Mr. Anderson was more reserved about his thoughts, but behind closed doors, he was one of the most judgmental people Blaine knew. He was just hoping that since they were going to neutral territory, his parents would find less to judge.

"Ok, please please please, Mom and Dad, behave," Blaine begged while they stood outside Breadstix.

"Why wouldn't we Blaine?" Mr. Anderson asked warily, running a quick hand through his graying black curls. Blaine left the question in the air and led his parents into the restaurant and to the table where the Hummels were seated. Kurt was wearing a purple button up shirt and white skinny jeans, an outfit which he probably chose to wear, decided against, and then chose again before showing up. His hair was perfect, each strand in its place, and bounced along with him as he bobbed his knee up and down with nervousness.

Mr. Hummel was still wearing plaid, as usual, but he ditched the baseball cap for the occasion. That was his definition of dressing up. Carole was wearing a nice brown blouse and a nice pair of jeans. Kurt had definitely dressed her, but you wouldn't know unless you knew the family.

"Hi Kurt, Mr. Hummel, Mrs. Hummel. These are my parents, Beatrice and Brad Anderson," Blaine said, sounding more rigid and nervous than he thought he would. The parents exchanged friendly hellos and the Andersons took their seats across from the Hummels.

"So, um, Mr. Hummel, are you a… farmer?" Mrs. Anderson asked while she looked at his plaid. Mr. Hummel raised an eyebrow to her.

"No," he said simply. She sighed.

"Oh, good! I was worried that Blainey was getting involved with THOSE kinds of people again. That's one of the reasons we love Dalton so much! It's the cream of the crop. We don't have to worry about Blainey going about with the… well, simpler folk to put it nicely," Mrs. Anderson said happily. Kurt's jaw looked like it was about to unhinge and hit the floor with shock while Blaine looked like he just wanted to bury himself alive.

"Um, well, I'm actually a mechanic. I own my own shop," Mr. Hummel said, not showing how he was actually insulted.

"Oh, that's still not as bad as a farmer, or a janitor I guess," she said. Poor Blaine just looked like he was about to beat his head against the table. The rest of the night was just as bad, Blaine's mother saying things that made him want to shove her foot into her mouth, and his father just sitting there, absorbing the situation. Blaine was just trying to find some way of hiding when he felt Kurt's foot brush against his leg. He looked up at Kurt, who mouthed "It's ok" to Blaine. Blaine smiled and pulled himself back into whatever the conversation happened to be. That little reassurance from Kurt was what got him through the night.

"Well, this was fun, but tomorrow is a school night," Mr. Anderson said.

"We'll have to do this again!" Mrs. Anderson said happily as she stood up. Mr. Anderson left enough money to pay for his family members and both of Blaine's parents started heading towards their car.

"So, before you leave Blaine, Kurt told me that you were planning on taking him to the movies this weekend," Mr. Hummel said. Blaine stomach dropped. There's no way he'd be allowed to do that after his parents' performance. "What time will you be picking him up?"

"Wait, you're seriously going to let me?" Blaine said, shock dancing all over his face. Mr. Hummel chuckled.

"I don't really like your parents, I'm not going to lie, but you're a lot different than them, and you make my son very happy," Mr. Hummel said kindly.

"Thank you Mr. Hummel!" Blaine said, running out to the car. When Blaine was in his car, Burt looked over at his son.

"He's a little scatterbrained isn't he? What time are you going to the movies this weekend?" he asked Kurt.

"Seven," Kurt said happily as he watched his boyfriend drive away. At least Blaine's parents were as homophobic as he thought they'd be. That's an upside right?


	4. Kurt the Sex God

**Author's Note: This chapter is a little cracky but I really wanted to write something happy now that I'm home from being out of town! Both multichapter stories I'm working on are pretty sad at the moment, so fun chapter time! I hope you guys like it! And sorry if Puck is out of character. I normally don't write for him. If you have any ideas for chapters, please leave them in the reviews! Thanks for reviews/alerts/favorites! Enjoy!**

Kurt the Sex God

"Puck!" Kurt yelled as he stalked fearlessly through the halls of William McKinley. After being humiliated by Blaine about not being sexy, he knew his chances at being with him were edging dangerously close to zero. He needed some help, and he knew that Puck would be the one to turn to about anything doing with sex.

"Hey there Kurt," Puck said when he saw him. "You look like you're fuming. Is there some guy that I have to beat down for you?"

"No, actually, I need your help with something else," Kurt said breathlessly, his fists still clenched at his side. "You know how this week's all about being sexy right?"

"Of course I do! You should've seen the song Miss. Holiday performed for us to try and 'teach us about sex'. It was awesome dude!" Puck said excitedly.

"Well, the Warblers are doing something similar, and Blaine said I'm not sexy," Kurt said while he walked out of McKinley with Puck.

"Were those his exact words?"

"No, it was more along the lines of him saying that I looked like I was in intestinal agony when I was trying to be sexy," Kurt grumbled. Puck looked at him, puzzled. "Like I had to use the bathroom."

"Oh, not cool dude. So what? You want me to beat the shit out of him?" Puck asked, pulling the keys to his truck out of his pocket.

"No, if anything… he's probably right… If I keep up my unsexiness, I'm never going to get laid," Kurt grumbled. "Even with the advantage of going to an all boy's school."

"Dude, Kurt, don't say that! You're a dude, and if I know anything about dudes, it's that they're all raging hormonal teenagers somewhere inside of them. You just have to find that part of you and then you'll be totally sexy. No homo," Puck said while he got into his truck. "You could try a song."

"Yea… you're right! What was the song Miss. Holiday did?" Kurt asked before Puck drove away. Oh yes, this was going to be good.

"Kurt, I came as soon as I got your text. I really want to talk about our last conversation too," Blaine rambled as he walked into the Dalton Academy common room. Kurt was standing in the center of the room with all of the furniture pushed out of the way. His Dalton jacket was lying on top of one of the cool leather sofas and his white button up shirt was unbuttoned. His tie hung uselessly around his neck while he leaned over and pressed the play button on his boom box. Blaine finally looked up. "What the hell?"

"You said I couldn't be sexy. Well, Blaine Warbler, I'm about to prove you wrong," Kurt said over the intro music in the song. He cleared his throat and started into the song. "We've been here too long, trying to get along. Pretending that you're oh so shy."

Kurt sang through the entire song _Do You Wanna Touch Me_, practically doing a strip tease. By the end of the song, he was panting and sweating from running about the room. His white button up shirt was lying somewhere along with his tie and his hair was standing straight up from him running his fingers through it to get it out of the way. Blaine just stared at him in awe.

"Well?" Kurt asked. Blaine inadvertently moved his books over his front lower half.

"I- uh… I've gotta go," Blaine stuttered, running out of the room. Success!


	5. Santana's Wrath

**Author's Note: I haven't seen New York in a long time so don't hate me if dialogue is wrong *puts up hands in surrender* Btw, almost all of the suggestions I've received in reviews have been about klaine, which is why I've been writing so much of it. I thought that was what you guys wanted. So yea, sorry if that's upset anyone. Enjoy :)**

_Ptirobo: __If you need a prompt, what about this one : during New York, they all have_

_their back to Finn and Rachel kissing ; so how come Santana lost it at Rachel_

_in the room (funniest Santana EVER, by the way) ?_

_TopHatGirl: __I would totally_

_have written it so someone punched Rachel in the face_

Santana's Wrath

"I'm from Lima Heights Adjacent, and I will kick your ass!" Santana screamed in Spanish at the frightened looking Rachel Berry. Mr. Shuster and Puck held on to her tightly to prevent the rabid beast from getting free and killing their lead soloist, but that didn't stop her from screaming at the top of her lungs at her. "You'd better not come within a ten mile radius of me after this Berry or I swear I will rip those prized little vocal chords out!"

"Santana, chill out… I may not know what you're saying since I'm failing Spanish and stuff, but give Rachel a break," Finn said calmly to the flailing Latina. She glared at him.

"Fine, I'll switch to English. You're a hormonal manwhore who only dates the same two girls! You couldn't even keep that in check for Nationals and now we've lost! I shouldn't be screaming at Berry, now that I think of it. I should be screaming at you since you're the one who made us lose! I mean, seriously, you two have on and off dated for the past two seasons, and everyone's getting really annoyed with the whole Finn, Rachel, Quinn love triangle. It's always 'Rachel I don't want to be with you', 'but Finn I'm so talented and I love you' 'I want to be prom queen!' 'Rachel the answer is no.' 'But Finn I'm so talented!' 'I'm a cheating whore who only cares about myself' 'Rachel, I'm in love with you!' 'I'm destined for better things, but let's make out during Nationals'. Have you ever thought to break the crazy chain and date someone else in glee club? Like, Mercedes? She's single and best friends with your step brother! Tina had been single for a while, it could've been her. Or, better yet, get a girl outside of glee club! Then we won't be as much of a big incestuous family and half the drama would be cut out! I'm dating Dave and we have no drama because he isn't in glee club!" Santana took a moment to catch her breath while everyone stared at her, not sure what to say. Then, Rachel finally did have something to add.

"You can sit here and yell at us all you want Santana," Rachel started, her fist clenched. "But that's only because you're so unhappy. We all know you really don't care very much about glee club. The only reason you joined in the first place was to help Quinn keep Finn as her boyfriend and to spy on us for Ms. Sylvester, so really you have no obligation to stay anymore, but you do anyways. And while you're here, you insult everyone, make negative comments constantly, and put your nose in other people's business. I don't know what your reasoning is for sticking around, but I have a theory. I think you only stick around because you're hiding something and you know we'll be the only friends you have once someone finds out," Rachel just got the last words out of her mouth when Santana's fist met her eye. Mr. Shue and Puck had let down their guard during Rachel's rant and didn't even realize until too late what Santana was doing.

"You don't know what they hell you're talking about Berry!" Santana yelled while her eyes watered up. Rachel was holding her eye, which was swelling shut with a bruise. Finn ran off to go get some ice for it. "And don't complain about ME nosing into people's business, seeing as you spied on Sam's house because you thought Quinn was cheating!" Santana yelled.

"Oh give it up Santana. We all know you're just being scared now. What are you hiding anyways?" Quinn asked. Santana's eyes darted around the room for a second.

"Are you hiding that you're Lebanese?" Brittany asked. For the first time ever, Santana was happy Brittany could be stupid sometimes.

"Something like that," was all Santana mumbled as Rachel's eye was iced and cared for. At least that pulled the attention away from her. Rachel seems to be good at that.


End file.
